Monthly Archives: January 2012


I’ve been working on a book, a memoir, and that has pretty much absorbed my writing energy at this time.  Also, I recently had a discussion with a friend and fellow radical feminist activist who is also working on her memoir, and we concurred that it is important to step back from the world a bit while delving into one’s personal narratives of child sexual abuse and such.  Therefore, I haven’t been blogging much.  Obviously.  It’s been a few weeks.

Nevertheless, I keep coming across stuff that makes me think I should get this up on gray horse woman.

So I am just going to pop a couple of things up here for regular readers and stoppers-by to check out.  I’ll leave no commentary, although I’ve got oodles to say, and leave it up to you folks to chat about, if you like.  Truly, it would be lovely to hear from you, because it’s been mostly spammers and men looking for women being raped by horses who have been dropping by while I haven’t been actively writing.

First is this gem I grabbed from a chapter summary on from a book titled Taking Sides: Clashing Views in Gender.

Then there is this lovely extension of our porn culture:

College Sugar Daddy website

(Now, back to my book.)


Jerking off

I rarely enter into the world of the sitcom.  However, I do check in occasionally, as it is a way to monitor the status of our pornified culture. Today, I watched, back-to-back, the first two episodes of ABC’s Work It.*  The show is a triumph of “sex-positive” feminism and its ideological love affair with patriarchy.  Alternatively, it is a triumph of patriarchy over feminisms of resistance.

The following is one snippet.  Here, the wife-mother laughs along with the husband-father as he jokes about masturbating in the bathroom to pictures of women whose only consent is that they are simply women.  (In rape culture, being a woman is considered consent in itself to be objects of men’s sexual release.)

Woman/wife/mother:  “Say, Lee, why do I keep finding my women’s magazines in our bathroom.”

Teen daughter: “Oh gross, Dad. Get some real porn.”

(canned laughter)

Man/husband/father:  “No, no, no!  That’s not why….okay, that’s why.”

Wife:  “Seriously?”

Husband:  “Yeah, there’s some pretty hot stuff in there.”

(canned laughter)

Wife:  “Oh, really, this does it for you:  (reading from magazine)  How to minimize your broad back.”

Husband (eyes closed, faking ecstasy):  “Oh, yeah, baby, say it slower….”

(wife laughs—canned laughter)

The daughter, however, is not yet as sex-positively enlightened as her mother, and reflects a more traditional—and equally problematic—perspective.  She only wants her dad to masturbate to pictures of prostituted women.  She, like her mother, accepts dad’s predatorial sexuality, but desires that it be focused on a specific class of women—one that does not include her.

What a great new comedy.  I laughed and laughed.

(put canned laughter here)


*I was also curious about Work It for its mock “trans” plot line.  Those aspects of the show are also extremely problematic, on so many levels. 

My ugly shoes

My father hated feminists.  He was actually behind a campaign to stop a women’s studies program from launching at his university in the 1970s.  When that didn’t work, he followed up with periodic harassing letters to the head of the program.  I know this because 30 years later, she showed them to me.

My father always spoke derisively about feminists!.  Among one of the many faults of feminists, I learned at a young age, was that they wear ugly shoes.

I remember clearly when I met the first woman I knew who named herself as a feminist.  I was in my late 20s.  I couldn’t help myself, I had to look under the table, to check out her shoes.

Yep.  They were ugly.  “Ugly”, like mine.  They were the kind of shoes that you can stand in all day, at a protest, or walk in, at a march.  They were the kind of shoes that do not deform your feet or make you walk with your glutes popped out.  They were the kind of shoes that you can escape a predator in.  Or fight him in.

Me and my ugly shoes.


An addendum to On libido:

This article claims, um, “feminism” to be responsible for men’s increase in use of Viagra….

On libido

Today I saw an acupuncturist for the first time.  I am having a nasty flare of “runner’s knee.”  It sounds fairly benign, but what it means is that my knee cap is grinding into my femur.  Gets pretty painful.  Cutting out the longer runs and some physical therapy exercises have helped, but I decided to try an additional treatment, acupuncture, to see if I could get the inflammation under control.

The New Patient Form had a long list of physical and mental health symptoms and conditions, from cold feet to liver disease to depression, and I was asked to check off which applied to me.

One of the items on the list was “low libido.”

Libido is politically loaded.  How, for example, is “low” libido measured?  Relative to other women, whose sexual behavior has been socialized within the constructs of male-centered sexual culture?  Or relative to men, who have had a monopoly on the political and social powers to construct all sexual paradigms?

Like “low” libido, decline in libido with age is also politically loaded.  Decline in libido with age is increasingly constructed as unhealthy or not normal.  But in truth, both Viagra and the ongoing search for a libido-boasting equivalent for women are driven by ageist paradigms (which insist normal aging is unhealthy) and hyper-sexism (which insists men must be able to lay a woman, or a man, to be a man).  Therefore, older men must be able to get it up and get it on.  And older women better keep up with them.

I am sure that most older women do not celebrate Viagra (do any?).  If older women’s libidos are “low,” Viagra-pumped older men are going to screw other women—affairs, younger women, prostitutes.  It’s a given.

Some [women whose husbands took Viagra] feared that Viagra would drive their partners to other women. Five of the 33 men confirmed that they had been unfaithful since taking the drug.

Moreover, Viagra is inducing a new form of rape:

A 48-year-old [woman] said: ‘It had such a powerful effect that … this made sex inevitable. Sometimes there was no discussion about whether … the sex act was going to take place, so it would be … ‘I’ve taken the pill, okay, let’s go.’ ‘

If (if) men have stronger libidos than women, then they can just masturbate to fill in the times they do not have a consenting partner and an equitable relationship.  But no pornography, no strippers or prostitutes.  No violent, coercive, or racist fantasies.  No fantasies about younger women, teens or children.  Because if anyone needs any of that to get stimulated, that is proof that libido is not the driving force.

(Quotes from Women Complain of Too Much Sex from Viagra-Popping Partners.)